Its been 50 years since the music died....
As posted earlier, my musical tastes are changing, and I seem to be replacing my old stand-by's (SR-71, Barenaked Ladies, Garbage) with a different repertoire (Dispatch, The New Pornographers, The Wallflowers). But I'll always have a place in my heart for those good old songs that defined an age, One Week - BNL, Jumper - 3rd Eye Blind, and of course, American Pie - Don McLean.
CTY was amongst the best times of my life, the first time I realized that people could appreciate and like me for simply being who I was. The first time being smart was cool and learning really was fun. The first time I was with someone, really with them, my first kiss, my first love letter, the first song ever written for me.
Somewhere I threw out everything that made me worthy of that place. I came to college and peer pressue completely consumed me for the first two and a half years, and I'm just now getting myself back...disfigured and broken. I traveled down the world of drugs, alcohol and sex - thinking that hiding my intelligence and my passions would help me become accepted in this strange world called New Jersey.
I was wrong, and I'm learning now just how far from myself I strayed.
I tell myself that I simply love being high - and I do. Its not an escape, its a vacation from my life. But if I'm truthful with myself, I realize that I am no longer sure who I am without the weed, and that scares me. If I don't have a blunt rolled, what am I going to be doing with my night? I always seem to have money for a gram, but never enough to actually do something with someone, which is upsetting.
I miss the music,
live, live, live, live, die, die, die, die, sex, sex, sex, sex, more, more, more, more!